I don't really want to do this, but whatever...

YCC 121.06.10

After the last week or so, I was told that so that I wouldn't be so super stressed out, that I should write stuff down. Like, you know, so I didn't like bottle it up and stuff? I dunno. Anyway, I don't really like this idea, but Gwyneth told me I  sortof had to, just to make her feel better. I mean, obviously she can't make me do anything, but if it helps her not freak out like she has been lately, I guess I will-at least until she forgets about it and I can quit doing this.

So, let me think. What's new that I should write down? Well, all of the stupid stuff from last week is OVER OVER OVER for me, and I've TOTALLY forgotten about it all. Like, it wasn't THAT big of a deal, anyway. I mean, yes I was crying and like had panic attacks and stuff, but it doesn't matter, everything's totally fine now.

ANYWAY, Mariya and Constantin were super helpful, and Constantin stayed with me for like over 2 days just taking care of me while I was having my, uhh, 'difficulties' or whatever. Which really weren't that bad, because it wasn't like a super big deal or anything. But they were really helpful, and I guess they really did save my life. I couldn't tell them everything about it all, and what was going through my head sometimes, not even Constantin, but it was really important to me that they were there.

Constantin told me I should forgive Luna for the way she talked to me and what she said and what she did to him and everyone else in LUMEN, because she has her own issues right now. Well, I guess that's true, and he asked me to at least give her a second chance. I mean, I didn't even get that I had ever signed up to give her a first chance, and I think that she was a really bad leader that hurt her own people-I mean, look at Ms. Aria-if she had been able to talk to Constantin, maybe she wouldn't have killed herself! But it's true that we all make mistakes, and maybe that was just one of hers, and I guess since it was Constantin that asked me to do it, I will. 

Oh yes, Kranacoi was going to take me clubbing, and I brought my own club to hit people with, but then he laughed at me because he said we weren't going to club people, but that a club was a place that people went. He should have told me that before we went. Oh, and I was super overdressed for all of his friends or whatever, but I guess I should have expected that since it was on Caille of course. He took me golfing instead, which I guess was nice, since he did say he wanted it to be something where I could hit things since I was mistaken or whatever, but then he seemed to get mad when he did worse than me, but whatever, I guess. Since I was in the middle of my, umm... thing, before Constantin got to me and stopped me or whatever, I think I was really mean to him. I sent him an apology, and he still talks to me, so I guess that's good.

Also, this weird guy named Eiirik something was just floating in an Ibis outside of the Dawn Star. I don't know what's going on with him, but he's asked to see me because he couldn't fix his ship. I mean, ok, but doesn't like Concord or something just give us those for free? Why can't he just get another one? I mean, whatever, and I guess I'll meet him or whatever, but it just seems weird. He did give me some really really nice Intaki Tea-I think it was Intaki anyway-as a thank you for saving him, so that's neat I guess. He says he was looking for his sister for some reason, so maybe I'll find out more about that.

I guess I should talk to Druur. We should work stuff out. I don't know how to do that. I'm still really angry at her. I guess it doesn't matter. I still lover her, and I wish I didn't right now. I didn't love her anyway, and anyone that says that is LYING.

OK, well my hand is tired, and I don't want to do this anymore. Plus now I'm getting angry for some reason, and I didn't want to do this in the first place. I hope I don't have to do it again.