I guess I'm writing another entry....

YCC 121.07.04

Yesterday, LUMEN's Fortizar in Tanoo was attacked by Blood Raiders. That might not be that unusual, but they brought DREADNOUGHTS, and that definitely was! It was crazy. I got there as fast as I could, and asked for a ship, but I guess Ms. Lyra was busy, and didn't see me, because even though I asked a couple of times, no one ever gave me one. All I had were fireworks in my Malediction, so I shot those, but tbh, I felt kind of useless. I didn't even have my Noctis there. I guess I lost it someplace? I don't know. There were so many people there helping, even though they aren't with us, or even with the Empire. I heard that Ms. Melisma was the one who let us know that it was happening, and she's a Minmatar! How crazy is that?!?

Anyhow, I'm gonna move some ships to Tanoo just in case they come back. I can't even fly them all properly yet, but I'll fit and move an Abaddon so I can join in with that fleet, and I'll bring a new Noctis, too. I don't know how soon I'll be able to do it, but I hope I can get it all moved soon. Sansha are bad enough, but now Blooders are moving in on us, and that's just not ok. I really hate being in a Capsule, but I hope that I can not freak out long enough to help in a fight when it happens next.

I talked to Druur the other day. I think we got back together? I mean, everytime I'm near her, I kindof lose control, and I don't really like it... but it feels good anyway. I don't know how to explain it. With everything that has gone on, everything she's told me, everything she's done, I think I should break things off and never get back together with her, but then she's there, in person.... and I just can't help myself. I like being near her, and I can't seem to say no to her when she's there.

I've talked to Constantin and Ms. Mariya about it, and I'm not sure how much help they are. Like, they tell me stuff, but like never what to do, and that's what I want someone to do for me. Like, make the decision so I can just, you know, do it. But I guess it's up to me, as usual, and I just don't trust myself anymore. Well, not that I ever trusted myself in the first place, of course.

I really like Ms. Mariya's brother Alexandr. He's, like, super cute and handsome, and so polite and proper. He's really great! He's very professional, and does his Security job really well. I don't think I could ask for a better personal bodyguard, and I hope he doesn't train his replacement too quickly. I like having him around. He's great at what he does, and it never feels like he is there unless I need him to be. He's much better than my original security team. I kindof worry that Ms. Mariya is like trying to get me to like him. Like, LIKE him. I don't know what I think about that, but he IS super super nice, and he's cute and stuff, too, which doesn't hurt either. He's going out with Ms. Ishta right now anyway, and I told her I wouldn't do anything with him while he's here, and I guess I'm seeing Druur again anyway, so it's stupid to think about him at all.

I need to remember to talk to Kran Kran. I think he's still supposed to take me to some kind of Gardens on Caille? I think it'll be fun, even though it's in the Federation.

I missed Ms. Loai's Khanid Party a week or two ago. I wish I'd been there, but I was busy opening the new Trade and Tourism Ministry on Nafrivik III. I really like the new Mascot or whatever they're called. It's a thing called a whale! It's super huge and swims in the water like a fish, sortof! We have different kinds on Naf, but I chose the super cute one that's long and slender, and dark blue, with this really super interesting bright green biolumy stripe thing that goes from like it's front flipper to like the bad end of it. I can't remember the word, but it glows in the dark, so you can see it even deep down! I love the soft plushy toys I've had made, they are super cute and floofy! I love them! I hope that people like them. I'm gonna give one out free to every boy and girl in my Holding!

I can't think of anything else to write, so I guess that's all for now. I should stop delaying and really get my ships to Tanoo, but I don't wanna.